Is it even worth mentioning that I haven’t posted anything substantial in ages? Based on the number of people who actually read this thing, which doesn’t include my own parents, I could easy call the both of you and tell you I’ve written something new. Expect a phone call, I guess.
It’s common knowledge that I am now back with the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. If this is news to you, allow me to tell you a “little story.” I initially left JPL/NASA back in June to take a wonderful position at First5LA, a children’s advocacy group located in lovely downtown, Los Angeles.
This new job had all the markings of a bright and productive future for me. At least that is how it was sold to me. Who would have thought, back in July, as I rocked a three piece Jones of New York pin stripe suit, that 90-days later, I would be begging for a way out.
To put it mildly, that position was the single worst job I’ve ever had and I’ve had some real dogs in my day. Working for Macy’s, a company that could care less about its employees, being accused of theft, and working with some of the clueless of human beings was high on my “Crap Jobs” list, but First5LA took the prize.
You’re probably wondering, “What happened, Adrian? It seemed all too good.”
It’s difficult to say where exactly it all went south for me. There was no communication at all. I simply appeared for my 90-day review and left with my probation extended 45 days and a large question mark over my head. An eye brow permanently raised, as well.
In July, I started at First5LA as a Contracts and Compliance officer. I received a large increase in pay and authority. Reporting directly to a Director was just what the doctor ordered. The new position would require me to research state law, records policies, and better business practices to ensure the organization was operating within the law. I was excited.
The new office was very different – lots of women, family-focus, flexible approach to work hours, seemingly competent leadership. I wasn’t used to that. The tempo of the job was much slower in comparison to JPL.
Two months into the job, there were signs of bad weather. A torrent was headed my way.
My supervisor, the director, had become a very rare sight for me. Here she was, the one responsible for all my training, taking on a staff of an additional 19. She left on a week’s vacation at one point. On another, she was at home with her kids for half a week. I wasn’t a priority and I was busy looking for things to do. In a couple of the 6 total meeting we had, she apologized for not being more available.
I did find work to do, in the form of research while she was out. LexisNexis and Google aided in my search for policy issues amongst non-profit organizations. Did I mention that’s what First5LA is? My fault.
This research apparently got me into trouble one day when my supervisor called me in and said I had been seen on the internet too much. I wasn’t sure what she meant, but she told me to just “be cool.” And that I had “no friends out there, nor did anyone else,” meaning everyone was out to get the other. Well, there’s a pleasant working environment.
Shortly after my 90th day as an employee, I had my review with my supervisor. The review was to cover my 90-days and move me from probationary employee to employee. I felt a little uneasy about the meeting because my supervisor’s attitude had changed about me and I saw this in the interactions we’d have in the halls. I really felt like I was going to be terminated that day, so the day before, I had packed up some of my stuff and took it all home.
The review wasn’t about me getting terminated, but it was about bullshit that was nearly on the same level. She told my probation would be extended 45 days and cited the following reasons:
I was seen on the internet too much.
I left early 5 times in 90-days.
I hadn’t shown her what I was made of yet.
I addressed the first two issues, as they were the only tangible and remotely intelligent points. Explaining that I use the internet to research law and policy, I was hoping to show that anyone who was spying on me would see I was on the internet… a lot. Working. She said she understood.
The early departures were for medical or family reasons – I hadn’t had health care in two months, so I had to set up a new doctor and dentist. Also, I had to address some personal family issues. Worst of all, SHE approved all the early departures. If these absences were not an issue then, why are they an issue now?
Her final reason was and still is, the most ludicrous I’ve heard. She admits to not being around enough for me to be trained. She admits this IN the review session. But then says I haven’t shown her what I’m made of. Talking out of both sides of her mouth, she truly shows her shark-like ways. Her assistant brags about how fair she is, but the truth is, she is quite the opposite. She is fair with those she thinks deserves it, making her judgment unfair.
“I haven’t been around to help you… to set you up. That’s my problem. I will take responsibility for that.”
How is extending my probation taking responsibility for her mistake?
A few days before, in a staff meeting, she ranted about people being on the internet too much and some mystery person who had their headphones on when she went by their office. This person, who she said was in another department, never saw her. She told me in that review, I was that person. She was pissed off I didn’t see her when my back was to her and my headphone were on. Headphones, by the way, she told me to get because my office is next to the kitchen where I hear and smell everything.
She never bothered to tap me on the shoulder to talk to me. I guess she just stood there and stewed, until she had enough to inspire her to leave. How is THAT my fault?
But her rant in our staff meeting was filled with such vitriol, you would think someone had insulted her. In fact, I think that person did, in her little world. To think I was the person that she was ranting about made me really consider how this person leads.
In the review, she also said that she didn’t like the fact I moved my monitor so that no one could see what I was doing. I did that because people who were watching me were causing problems for me behind the scenes. Common sense.
I had, months prior to this review, requested a privacy filter for my monitor. In that infamous staff meeting, she said she wouldn’t be authorizing the purchase of any of those filters because “nothing you (she used the universal you, but she meant me… she told me this) work on is that confidential.” That’s fine. But why do 20 of the 23 people who work in our department have one?
Getting back to the “points” she made to extend my probation, it’s worth saying she said she understood why I left early and why I was on the internet. But my probation extension remained. She said she liked me and didn’t want to lose me. She also said that an entire department had their probation extended by First5LA. I didn’t care. That was them and I am me.
I was also told I’d be reporting to a peer instead of a director. Demoted.
The entire review was about how I sucked. No mention of the massive records retention policy I crafted with no records experience. It was a two month job I completed, accurately, in two weeks. It took her longer to tell me the goddamn thing was approved. No mention of anything else I’ve accomplished.
I worked for NASA. I accomplished a lot. How could I be successful on the big stage and be a complete failure on a smaller stage?
Seven total awards. Two promotions. Leadership role. All under the NASA scope…
Was this entry mostly a bitch-fest? Probably. But people had been wondering what happened so… I told you.
Where am I today? In my underwear, writing this. Professionally, I’m back at the lab in a BRAND NEW position… back with friends. But there are people I miss at First5LA. I still talk to those people.
Now that I have cleared the air, I can get back to the good stuff.
Happy Holidays.
