He's Not Jesus

I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but Ron Paul is going to save the world from itself. No, it’s true. He’s going to collect all the nuclear weapons in a big fishing net, fly 93.4 million miles into space and throw them all into the sun. He is! Don’t give me that look. I can see you through the internets and you’re giving me either “something smells in here… someone needs a diaper change” look, or it is your basic disbelief.

Well, it would appear to be true if you listened to Ron Paul’s flock. You see, Ron Paul is this politician who is attempting another run at the White House. He’s doing covert work for the Libertarians while disguised as a Republican and he’s the Internet’s Most Popular candidate. He’s raised quite a bit of money for his campaign, or so the blindingly annoying ticker on his website says.

He’s secured $13.4 million dollars in donations.

Paul has this incredibly rabid following on the internet and it’s down right disturbing. These people are vocal in their support to the point of fanaticism. You can post an anti-Ron Paul entry into your blog and it will act like chum in the internet seas. After a short while, the internet killing machines will swim up to your blog and thrash wildly against it. It’s pretty interesting. You should try it sometime.

I envision these folks, huddle up to their PC’s, with the Ron Paul website up, repeating a mantra and watching the campaign donation numbers soar over and over again. When I say Paul is being played up like he was the messiah, I’m not joking. There are countless blog comment posts that say these words (or similar): “Ron Paul is America’s last hope. I really think that.” That sentiment is expressed in various different ways on the web.

And don’t try to question Paul’s politics. It’s heresy. A Ron Paul worshiper sticks pretty close to the Church of Ron Paul’s dogma. It could cost you your internet soul.

So let’s get down to Ron Paul’s politics – he’s against big government and he’s for allowing the private sector to fill in what the government will leave behind under him. He backs the Constitution. He wants certain issues to be left up to the state, as opposed to the federal government.

Some highlights –

He’s against regulating the internet.

He wants to pull the U.S. military out of Iraq and everywhere else (including Germany) today.

He wants to disband the IRS – that’s right, he wants to get rid of the IRS.

He wants to eliminate the Department of Education.

You could also drink the Kool-Aid after reading that, right? No IRS? Wow!

So let me have a crack at the Ron Paul politics – he sucks. He wants to disband any government office that does not have a role in the Constitution. That’s pretty fanatical as far as I’m concerned. It’s similar to a Conservative Christian who only does what the Bible says. Is it a good idea to dictate your current condition based on a document written hundreds of years ago?

I’ll expand this a little further – if you’re a NASA employee or contractor, Ron Paul threatens your livelihood. NASA has no “Constitutional role” because NASA didn’t exist in the time of Thomas Jefferson. Ron Paul would eliminate the agency toot-sweet if he was given the power. He believes that the private sector is better equipped to explore space. It’s a damn shame that private space agencies don’t care about science. They care about putting the rich into orbit for thrills.

Science doesn’t make money. It’s not about the bottom line… thankfully.

Paul makes a lot of “it sounds good” claims but has yet to show a plan to make them all work. Trimming government is a great idea, but hacking at it with a massive legislative cleaver is dangerous – where do all the people on the government payroll go when their office no long exists?

It’s foolish to think that the private sector will quickly hire them.

And let’s be real here, the private sector isn’t all that great. It doesn’t work as well as you’d think and if there’s any lesson to be learned over the years, the private sector is not good for one’s well being. There’s a reason why we don’t live as long as the average European. There’s a reason why our quality of life is well below the EU’s. It is because of our need to be productive first and healthy second. That’s all due to the private sector’s influence on life.


Ron Paul will enhance that… and we’ll all probably die as a result. Well, that’s probably an unfair claim, but I’m going to make it anyway. Do we really need MORE capitalism? Shouldn’t we temper our incredible productivity with some… social programs? Such as socialized medicine? Perhaps a 35 hour work week? What about more holidays? Government sponsored nanny and home keeper programs for new parents? Anything?

I won’t get into the fact that David Duke and many white supremacist groups back Ron Paul (I don’t think Paul is a racist, but I think his ideals empower them).

So, Ron Paul has some good ideas, but the rest of them are ridiculous and silly. I can’t fault him for having imagination. He’s the Willy Wonka of Washington. I will fault him for not balancing his views with reality.

Ron Paul Blows 2008 - $13.4 million thrown into the crapper. But countless bloggers inspired.

The Single Most Important YouTube Clip of the Week

Guitar Lesson Two: Done.

It’s freezing outside – 37 degrees according to my car at 6:30AM.

Guitar lesson two was completed on Monday and it was a good time. I’m showing some progress with the chords I’ve learned. We played a shuffle together and I’m grasping the concept of the blues rhythm as it manifests (or is supposed to) on the guitar. The 12-bar blues is pretty basic, at least that’s what I’m coming to understand at this point. Essentially, it is a three chord song as played thought 8th beats.

Sounds really simple, doesn’t it? Three chords… 8th….

For me, it seems nearly impossible. The good news is, as I’ve learned more about the guitar, the 12-bar shuffle seems within reach. The next light in the tunnel is approaching.

Homework was liberally assigned this week – terminology, shuffle play, chord memorization, and chord transitions. Vince is challenging me as a student, so I’m eager to see where I go.

The new change to my practice schema is that I am bringing my guitar to work now. I will play at lunch and on breaks. Then I will go home and play more.

My buddy, Mike, sent me the best cartoon I’ve seen in my life and it captures my passion perfectly… right down to the type of guitar:




Hell yeah.

Guitar Lesson One: In the Books

Yesterday was a particularly long day. You see, I woke up around 4:45 in the AM to head to the gym. I haven’t seen the inside of a gym in months and you can tell. My gym, the Glendale 24 Hour Super Sport (because I’m a super sportsman) didn’t quite seem like I though it would. It was January and normally the gym is packed with Resolutioneers, looking to undue the months of November and December. But the gym seemed subdued.

I managed to crank out thirty minutes on the elliptical (156 average heart rate), which was my goal given the fact I haven’t worked out in months (due to a bad knee and a worse job). I didn’t feel that fatigued by the end of the run and my knees were no worse for wear. And I can report that my knees feel just fine a day later – despite it being cold out. I’m only mildly sore.

From the gym, I made it into work early enough to get a decent spot in the lab’s premiere lot for those of us who don’t park on-site. My work day was long – about 11 hours. My guitar lessons were in Glendale, which is on the way back home. I didn’t feel the need to drive home then drive back into town for the instruction, so I stayed at work. I won’t be doing that again as it wore me the hell out.

My instructor, Vince, is an accomplished musician and blues guitarist. He knows how to play the mandolin and the blues harp (harmonica). He also owns a Stratocaster from the early 60’s and an incredible Bassman amp and reverb. He’s got some incredible tools and the skills to play them, as I saw for myself.

Instruction began simply enough, with a blues primer. He explained the 12-bar blues. Who plays them and why they are played. He broke a basic12-bar blues song and played a bit. After that, he showed me the chords and I played them as best I could. The results were okay, but good according to Vince.

I think I sounded like a parrot being put into a rusty meat grinder, but there were times I did sound like he did.

I was able to play a relatively difficult chord (a form of A) that he was impressed with. He said that most guitarists are not able to play that chord with one finger because they don’t have the finger strength or shape. I was able to play it well a few times, without a muted note.

Vince also noted how well I was able to adopt the blues rhythm, apparently that’s a challenge for people learning.

Vince is very patient and accessible – he encouraged me to call him whenever I run into a problem or had a question. He gave me homework, which I’ll be working on religiously in the coming days. And… the lessons have been rescheduled to 5PM.

Now I’m committed to one hour a day… let’s see where I end up.

Update:

So I spent about an hour and a half practicing. I may be a little hard on myself, but I didn't see a great deal of improvement. What I did like was the fact that my strumming has improved quite a bit. I also sense accuracy has seen an increase as well.

What I practiced - A7, D7, and E7 chords. I have A7 and D7 put to memory. E7 I will have tomorrow. Played along with Jimmy Reed... I have the blues rhythm down like tree roots. Progress.

Also... my fingers look like I touched a frying pan fresh from the burner. There's some pain as well... make typing tough. But it's a good kinda hurt.

I've Seen The Amy Fisher Sex Tape

Listen, if you're:

A. Younger than 21 years of age.
B. Squeamish.
C. Digesting a meal.
D. Have a heart condition.
E. My parents.

...you may wish to skip this entry because it may:

A. Ruin you for life.
B. Cause you to pass out.
C. Cause you to throw up.
D. Kill you.
E. Inspire extreme disappointment in your heart for me.

The film opens in a single shot scene of the Long Island Lolita, who, thanks to age resembles more like the Long In The Tooth Lolita or Long Island Larry, if you consider the accent, nude in a tub. The tub appears to be of quality design and the wonderful window choice for the bathroom. It really brings natural light into the room. And yes, I'm trying to describe anything else of than Amy Fisher and that bizarre husband of hers.

Since you really can't avoid them, I'll get to it - Amy Fisher looks like she hasn't been in the sun for most of her adult life. A light shade of pale, meanwhile that husband of hers must live in a tanning bed. Fisher has a pretty decent body for a woman in her 40's (I'm guessing). She does sport two artificial boobs though.

So anyway, as you can imagine, there's sex and it is scary. It's as scary as the dialog... and let's just say, the script isn't going to be appearing on Masterpiece Theatre anytime... ever. But it is the dialog, the sharing of loving communication that makes this film a classic.

The husband sounds like your grandfather. So imagine your grandfather, without any emotion, telling your grandmother to touch herself, but in a Long Island accent. "Touch your c*it... rub it." That's hot.

Criminals.


The acting is great - I particularly enjoy the improvisation work that went on in the shower/tub scene. Amy is pleasuring her husband and he's about to complete the deed when she beckons:

"Come."

And he replies, "On your face?"

And in a brilliant example of improvisational acting, she says, "No, on my tits," artistically proving that it truly isn't a man's world. This film has a message, my friends.

She does complete this incredibly moving scene with a line that will live on in film history, "I love to taste my daddy's c*m." I think this speaks to the intrinsic need for all women to need a father in the their lives.

In the final scene, we're taken to the bed chambers belonging to Fisher and husband for a final dramatic recreation of Hamlet, I think. Or was it gruesome looking intercourse? Oh yes, it was intercourse. I think her husband's lesser parts was called Hamlet? Maybe I had finally slipped into a pornographic coma at this point and had been searching the internet for a therapist. Whatever the case, they do it... AGAIN.

It starts out, like most professional relationships, with oral. Someone's using Viagra. Then when that whole train wreck is done, he picks her up, like it was their wedding day again, and crosses the threshold of Hell and plants her on the bed. Then the real crime happens...

"Does... that... feel... good? Danger... Will.... Robinson..."

Thankfully, actual procreation is averted in the entire film.

Overall, I found that the film had a lot to say to the audience, in the same vein as Citizen Kane. With cinematography, I have to say that the idea of a single shot scene is ingenious. It would be like being there with your eyelids superglue'd open and your head fused forward. I call it "The Prisoner of War" shot.

Is it worth the price of admission? I think that depends on how much someone is paying you to see it.

Ron Paul 2008!

I Kill Dead People

Zombies are a lot fun, they truly are. Yes, they want to eat the living. Yes, they are mindless to the point to where turning a door knob to open a door is a challenge. And yes, they usually follow each other around and don’t observe any kind of independence. And yes, they have been contributing money, web space, and their potential vote to Ron Paul. But they are so much fun to take a chainsaw to. Really. Fire up the gas powered felling machine and apply it generously to the walking carcasses that malinger about.

My socio-political commentary isn’t really focused on politics and society, but on a videogame. It’s called Dead Rising and I enjoy it a lot. And you gaming geeks, don’t give me any noise about the game being “so old;” I just got my Xbox360 from my folks as a Christmas gift. A wonderful Christmas gift.

So the premise of this game is basic – zombies are at it again. Something has turned the majority of the population into the walking dead and they are very hungry. They are not vegans either. They want to eat people, for the most part, and of course you play a “people” in the game. You’re a photojournalist with very little concern about law or safety, as you are dropped onto the roof of a massive, yet overrun mall in “anywhere” U.S.A.



You progress through the story – let me explain that most games these days no longer use “lives.” You know what I mean? You get three lives to start a videogame, with the opportunity to earn more depending on performance. Current games don’t give you lives. You usually are given one. And the goal is no longer to post a high score, but to progress through the game’s plot.

Can a videogame have a story? Yes. Stories that rival 90% of Hollywood’s yearly output. As a writer, I know stories… both good and bad.

Getting back to Dead Rising, the story unfolds as you manage to stay alive. I think I am about half way through the tale and my guess is that the story will reveal why and how people have turned into the undead. There are some very interesting characters and unbelievably scary and evil people in the game that you have to deal with who are very much alive.



There are few reasons why this game is a lot of fun – first, the atmosphere is amusing. Imagine a mall, invested with hundreds if not thousands of zombies. The moaning and shuffling around. It sounds creepy right? What is funny is the game doesn’t insert creepy music most of the time, all you hear over the zombie-chatter, is…muzak. Mall music. I found that hilarious. Oh sure, there’s a lot of deadly things wandering about, but let’s listen to the best of Michael McDonald as performed by Zamfir.

You have the various characters you run into that are surviving the invasion as well as the evil bastards thriving in it. The evil ones really make you dislike them.

And of course, you have the wanton violence – you have to be able to dispose of a zombie army somehow and the game developers give the player the freedom to use just about anything to do. You can pick up a bench and smash it into a shuffling ghoul. You can pick up a potted plant and crash it into the head of a zombie. Dishes. A frying pan. Patio furniture. Stuff animals. Soccer balls. Lead pipe. Coat hanger. Stratocaster guitars. Plywood sheets. Shopping carts. Ketchup bottles. Cooking oil. You see it, chances are, you can use it.

Of course, you have the more traditional weapons – baseball bat, chainsaw, handgun, shotgun, katana blade, 2 x 4… lawnmower. All of them bloody and insane. Basically, fun for adults and a great way to blow off some steam.



The last couple of nights, I’ve been spinning this game in the 360, smashing zombie skull while Lupe sits next to me on the sofa. Our cat, quietly napping, while Lupe reads a book detailing the diary of Marie Antoinette. I’m splattering virtual blood all over the place, the cat sleeping, and Lupe being smart. Interesting run of the intellectual spectrum there.

“Fantastic!”

Guess What Was Just Delivered? A NEW YEAR!

I’m going to go cliché’ it up right now and say, with 2007 almost put to bed, 2008 is on the horizon. Don’t you hate it when people use clichés? It’s lazy, isn’t it? Which goes to prove my point of sports broadcasters being the most laziest bunch of bastards in the media. They are also about as interesting as a burlap bag. I don’t care what anyone says about Sportscenter… it’s not that great of a show. It really isn’t.

That statement also remains Gospel Truth for 99% of what is being broadcasted on network television. All of you who thought Friends was an amazing show really have to spend a little time watching I Love Lucy and the Honeymooners. Every sitcom that has ever been produced is a version of either show. Fact. Whacky neighbors? Social dilemmas? Interracial comedy? All there. “Been there, done that.”

Why did I write the above? I don’t know.

Christmas was a pretty nice holiday for me, although I was quite far from family. My girlfriend was very good at making me feel at home…in our home. Well, you know what I mean. We had our 6’ Christmas tree up with all the trimmings. Maki, the Unholy, was chasing his toys around and running amok in his “cat tunnel” structure. Burl Ives was singing through our television… it was really nice. We drank apple cider… we were white people for a change.

As far as gifts went, I have no reason to complain about anything – Xbox360, an acoustic guitar, leather bound version of the entire Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series, the Levon Helm book, three Classic Album “Making of…” DVD’s, “The Last Waltz” on Blu-Ray, a PS3 game, a small collection of clothing. Enough already. The Xbox360 is great and is a money sink. My brother got one too, so now we’ll be able to kill things together again.

Really, it was a nice holiday for me. And I’m really glad 2007 is going into the books (cliché) because it sucked for me. Bad job. Car problems. Money famine. [Edit: just lost the football pool - $800] It blew. But 2008, let me tell you, is going to be very different. I’m not playing organized basketball anymore, in fact, if you find me on the court, consider it an odd occurrence – it’s not a passion for me anymore. I’ve got a new one.

It’s guitar.

I need to spare my knees from the grinding and pounding of the sport. I’ve done enough with it, anyway. It’s time to make music and be on stage… it’s time to perform with a band… it’s time to make music that sounds like this:

Holiday Friggin’ Cheer

Is it even worth mentioning that I haven’t posted anything substantial in ages? Based on the number of people who actually read this thing, which doesn’t include my own parents, I could easy call the both of you and tell you I’ve written something new. Expect a phone call, I guess.

It’s common knowledge that I am now back with the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. If this is news to you, allow me to tell you a “little story.” I initially left JPL/NASA back in June to take a wonderful position at First5LA, a children’s advocacy group located in lovely downtown, Los Angeles.

This new job had all the markings of a bright and productive future for me. At least that is how it was sold to me. Who would have thought, back in July, as I rocked a three piece Jones of New York pin stripe suit, that 90-days later, I would be begging for a way out.

To put it mildly, that position was the single worst job I’ve ever had and I’ve had some real dogs in my day. Working for Macy’s, a company that could care less about its employees, being accused of theft, and working with some of the clueless of human beings was high on my “Crap Jobs” list, but First5LA took the prize.

You’re probably wondering, “What happened, Adrian? It seemed all too good.”

It’s difficult to say where exactly it all went south for me. There was no communication at all. I simply appeared for my 90-day review and left with my probation extended 45 days and a large question mark over my head. An eye brow permanently raised, as well.

In July, I started at First5LA as a Contracts and Compliance officer. I received a large increase in pay and authority. Reporting directly to a Director was just what the doctor ordered. The new position would require me to research state law, records policies, and better business practices to ensure the organization was operating within the law. I was excited.

The new office was very different – lots of women, family-focus, flexible approach to work hours, seemingly competent leadership. I wasn’t used to that. The tempo of the job was much slower in comparison to JPL.

Two months into the job, there were signs of bad weather. A torrent was headed my way.

My supervisor, the director, had become a very rare sight for me. Here she was, the one responsible for all my training, taking on a staff of an additional 19. She left on a week’s vacation at one point. On another, she was at home with her kids for half a week. I wasn’t a priority and I was busy looking for things to do. In a couple of the 6 total meeting we had, she apologized for not being more available.

I did find work to do, in the form of research while she was out. LexisNexis and Google aided in my search for policy issues amongst non-profit organizations. Did I mention that’s what First5LA is? My fault.

This research apparently got me into trouble one day when my supervisor called me in and said I had been seen on the internet too much. I wasn’t sure what she meant, but she told me to just “be cool.” And that I had “no friends out there, nor did anyone else,” meaning everyone was out to get the other. Well, there’s a pleasant working environment.

Shortly after my 90th day as an employee, I had my review with my supervisor. The review was to cover my 90-days and move me from probationary employee to employee. I felt a little uneasy about the meeting because my supervisor’s attitude had changed about me and I saw this in the interactions we’d have in the halls. I really felt like I was going to be terminated that day, so the day before, I had packed up some of my stuff and took it all home.

The review wasn’t about me getting terminated, but it was about bullshit that was nearly on the same level. She told my probation would be extended 45 days and cited the following reasons:

I was seen on the internet too much.

I left early 5 times in 90-days.

I hadn’t shown her what I was made of yet.

I addressed the first two issues, as they were the only tangible and remotely intelligent points. Explaining that I use the internet to research law and policy, I was hoping to show that anyone who was spying on me would see I was on the internet… a lot. Working. She said she understood.

The early departures were for medical or family reasons – I hadn’t had health care in two months, so I had to set up a new doctor and dentist. Also, I had to address some personal family issues. Worst of all, SHE approved all the early departures. If these absences were not an issue then, why are they an issue now?

Her final reason was and still is, the most ludicrous I’ve heard. She admits to not being around enough for me to be trained. She admits this IN the review session. But then says I haven’t shown her what I’m made of. Talking out of both sides of her mouth, she truly shows her shark-like ways. Her assistant brags about how fair she is, but the truth is, she is quite the opposite. She is fair with those she thinks deserves it, making her judgment unfair.

“I haven’t been around to help you… to set you up. That’s my problem. I will take responsibility for that.”

How is extending my probation taking responsibility for her mistake?

A few days before, in a staff meeting, she ranted about people being on the internet too much and some mystery person who had their headphones on when she went by their office. This person, who she said was in another department, never saw her. She told me in that review, I was that person. She was pissed off I didn’t see her when my back was to her and my headphone were on. Headphones, by the way, she told me to get because my office is next to the kitchen where I hear and smell everything.

She never bothered to tap me on the shoulder to talk to me. I guess she just stood there and stewed, until she had enough to inspire her to leave. How is THAT my fault?

But her rant in our staff meeting was filled with such vitriol, you would think someone had insulted her. In fact, I think that person did, in her little world. To think I was the person that she was ranting about made me really consider how this person leads.

In the review, she also said that she didn’t like the fact I moved my monitor so that no one could see what I was doing. I did that because people who were watching me were causing problems for me behind the scenes. Common sense.

I had, months prior to this review, requested a privacy filter for my monitor. In that infamous staff meeting, she said she wouldn’t be authorizing the purchase of any of those filters because “nothing you (she used the universal you, but she meant me… she told me this) work on is that confidential.” That’s fine. But why do 20 of the 23 people who work in our department have one?

Getting back to the “points” she made to extend my probation, it’s worth saying she said she understood why I left early and why I was on the internet. But my probation extension remained. She said she liked me and didn’t want to lose me. She also said that an entire department had their probation extended by First5LA. I didn’t care. That was them and I am me.

I was also told I’d be reporting to a peer instead of a director. Demoted.

The entire review was about how I sucked. No mention of the massive records retention policy I crafted with no records experience. It was a two month job I completed, accurately, in two weeks. It took her longer to tell me the goddamn thing was approved. No mention of anything else I’ve accomplished.

I worked for NASA. I accomplished a lot. How could I be successful on the big stage and be a complete failure on a smaller stage?

Seven total awards. Two promotions. Leadership role. All under the NASA scope…

Was this entry mostly a bitch-fest? Probably. But people had been wondering what happened so… I told you.

Where am I today? In my underwear, writing this. Professionally, I’m back at the lab in a BRAND NEW position… back with friends. But there are people I miss at First5LA. I still talk to those people.

Now that I have cleared the air, I can get back to the good stuff.

Happy Holidays.

The Most Important YouTube Clip of the Week

...so I haven't posted in a while. So what? This will make up for it.

My First5LA Experience

...summed up in a .gif file.

I Quit My Job Today

...and it feels so good.

-Adrian

To Be An American

Sometimes we Americans take ourselves way too seriously. I personally think we revert to our primitive tribal ways and it works against us. We also fall back to our symbol worship. You know what that is right? When one believes in a symbol to the point where common sense and decency goes right out the window, right? Right. Here’s an example:



Look, I’m a proud American. I respect the veterans of this country. I don’t bad mouth the country. But first, I am a logical human being and recently it has been very hard to be a logical human being and a proud American. Honestly.

The above video is a prime example. This veteran, and I thank him for his service, should really reflect on his actions. To destroy private property in the name of his country is not only illegal, it is also disrespectful and contradictory to the very values he served to protect. Freedom of Speech.

The Mexican flag shouldn’t be flying over the U.S. flag. Fine. Is it illegal? That’s questionable per Texas v. Johnson, but let’s say it is illegal. Just for sake of discussion, let us assume flying a flag above the U.S. flag is absolutely against the law. Who is responsible for the application of the law?

The U.S. Justice System.

Not Jim Brossard.

Vigilantism is illegal.

Why not walk into the store, perhaps with some baked goods for the owner, and explain the symbolic (remember, these are flags of cloth, not babies hanging from the pole) insult to him? That would be far too diplomatic and intelligent of an approach. Instead, let’s be bullheaded and ignorant, as most of the world must perceive us as, and destroy private property?

Brossard is being touted as a “real American hero.” If you step back and look at his acts objectively, he didn’t really protect America’s ideals dealing with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness (personal property). Not very American.

Here’s the spin on Fox News – notice how the issue about Brossard’s breaking our law is mentioned for a matter of seconds before the real agenda is brought up.



And if any Right Winger is reading this – I don’t support illegal immigration. I’m not a "liberal." I was born in the country and I quite certain I’m smarter and better looking than you, so get off my blog.

How I'm Living

There's a lot to be said, however the timing isn't exactly right. You can't simply scream the truth on a public information avenue. It could end badly. But if I could summarize what is going on with me, I'd do it using a clip from YouTube.



By the 12th of November, I should be able to speak freely about this particular situation. In the meanwhile, I will take my baseball glove and baseball, and bounce it off the walls of my cubicle... er... cell.

The Single Most Important YouTube Clip of the Week

This clip helped me with a tough week.... "All's quiet on the fish front!"

Columbus Day is Today

How can one discover a land that already had people living on it? I'm thinking it is a discovery because the culture that Columbus was sailing for, is considered to be "superior." Meaning, they wore pants and lived in large buildings. And there is a perception that they were "smarter" than the people they ran into in the New World (which wasn't really new if you consider people had been living there for several centuries).

So, let me get to the point - given the stated, I live in a large building. I wear pants. And my girlfriend and many others whom I didn't pay any money, perceive me to be "smarter" than many people. Now I look on my handy dandy Google maps on my equally dandy handy smartphone, looking for a region where people don't live in large buildings, don't wear pants, and do not have people who my friends would consider smarter than me.

I will be claiming "Alabama" in the name of the United States and Queen George Bush in a fortnight. If you live there, I have beads and bottle caps to trade for your land. If you don't trade me, I will give you small pox infected socks and thongs. Then I will force you to march to South Dakota.

In 1492, Columbus sailed the Ocean Blue.

In 2007, Adrian sailed to Southern Heaven.

Let's remember the following facts about Christopher Columbus -

1. He didn't discover America or even North America. He didn't even set foot on North America.
2. He intended to sail to Asia. Oops.
3. He didn't promote the fact the world was round. Most of his peers already understood that to be fact.
4. He rewarded his crew with 12 and 13-year-old native girls to rape.
5. He was responsible for the killing of hundreds of native people in various ways, such as mauling by dogs.

We shouldn't have a national holiday commemorating this guy. It's sad that we have a holiday that celebrates Columbus, but not one that celebrates the Native American. Thanksgiving doesn't count.

Alabama, I haven't forgotten you.

The Single Most Important YouTube Clip of the Week

...it's a couple of days late because of stupid people in Maryland.

Hate Served on the Early in Maryland

So to whoever decided to spray paint "Fuck You Nigger" in large letters across the front of my parents' house, you're not scaring anyone. To whoever wrote "I love tacos" and some shit about "chipotle," Colombians don't eat tacos or chipotle. You don't scare me. You don't scare my dad. You don't scare my brother. If anything, you only slightly concern my mother, but for that you should be ashamed.

Everything you thought you did, you didn't do. Everything you did was cowardly. If you have a problem with who my family is, take it up with one of us, face-to-face. Don't lurk in the shadows, in the early morning hours, to send your message. Real men don't do that.

Don't think we've never heard that kind of speech before. Don't think I've never been called "beaner" or "spic" or "wetback." Don't think I haven't been told I was a "nigger lover." Don't think I don't know the type of person you are. I have people like you ground up and served in my "chipotle tacos." You're fodder.

A guy can't get his hair cornrowed and listen to hip-hop music anymore. I guess you can't relate to the black community. You just can't be who you are anymore. Perhaps never could...

For those of you just tuning in, someone spray painted some racist terms on the front of my parents' and vehicles home a morning ago. They also attempted to destroy my brother's car. It was such an event, the press showed up. Neighbors came to the door, crying, offering white paint to cover up the crime. The local police and detectives are now searching for the subhumans who did this.

I suggest looking under the nearest rock in the local swamp.

The Single Most Important YouTube Clip This Week

So we finished the entire Sopranos series and to celebrate that fact, I'm going to share an amusing compilation of my favorite Sopranos character, Peter Paul Gualtieri, also known as Paulie Walnuts.



Heh. He-heh.

McAfee - A disgrace to the Irish name.

I hate McAfee anti-virus. It may force me to reinstall XP.

To Everyone: Don't use their products.

To McAfee: Shove it up your e-ass.

Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?

No.

The area that surrounds my place of business can sometimes be frequented by transients. In my estimation, it is due to the proximity of Union Station, which as you can imagine, is a hub for transportation. One can ride the rails, the subway, or buses with relative ease, so naturally you’ll find all sorts of people around, including the poor and unfortunate.

Before I begin telling my story, let it be known that I’m a huge proponent for solving homelessness. The idea that someone is without shelter is very sad to me and I feel we fail as a species, for allowing it to happen. War veterans are out on the streets as well as children. It’s shameful that in a country where one can buy a 60lb. sundae or a 12lb. pizza, one can also starve. My feelings about homeless people being established in a public manner, let’s proceed.

Union Station is a great place to get a cup of coffee and a bagel. Since my coffee embargo of 2004, I’m reluctant to indulge in a cup of Joe. Tea for me. So each morning, I travel to Union Station to fuel up and this morning was not different. On my way over, I’m asked for change by a person without means at least once a week. In recent weeks, it has been the same unlucky person a couple of times of week; the same person I gave five dollars to a month ago. The same person I’ve not given money to since.

“Can you spare some change?”

“Sorry.”

A week later:

“Can you spare some change?”

“Sorry man, I can’t.”

A week after that:

“Spare some change?”

“No can do, sorry.”

Another week passes:

“Can you possibly spare some money?”

“Sorry.”

That’s been the exchange until this morning; a morning where life was going to throw me a curve.

“Can you spare me a couple of dollars, sir?”

“Sorry, I can’t.”

“Man, you NEVER have change to give!”

In a tone less than polite, more accusatory, this guy was expressing his frustration. Inside, I felt a well of anger rise up in a quick, but gentle manner, to the point where time stood still. My mind raced and contrived the following:

“Motherf*cka, YOU are the one who never has change. That’s why you’re ALWAYS askin’ for some. ALWAYS. You’d think you would have money because you have NO overhead. You have no bills. You don’t pay rent. You don’t pay income taxes. And it seems like all your meals are f*ckin’ paid for.

I went to school. I busted my ass at a federal job. I broke my ass to get to where I am now… and I don’t have money. Bills for days. I should be asking YOU for money. Do you have a couple of bucks I can have, asshole? No? You should budget better. Dickhead.”

One of Adrian’s Rules of Life is – “Never provoke someone who has nothing to lose. You’ll end up dead.” So applying that rule, I said nothing and walked away. One day, I’d like to think that we all have brass balls like that guy, but we use them in a way that could be categorized as intelligent.

For the record: I’m not ashamed or regretful that I gave the guy money in the first place. No good deed… but screw it.